ملتقى أهل العلم - Self-confidence at women

Self-confidence at women

Salwa As-Sulamy

Dear sister in Islam, let it be known that self-confidence is a kind of achieving self-contentment, success, getting the objectives of human soul, and having trust in the presence of reasons which Allah granted for humans; this is a purposeful trust which you should be raised up to in order to have powerful spiritual energy and a strong personality.

Many precious chances and energies were wasted and lost because of women's unawareness of the capabilities that Allah granted them, which if they use in the best way, they can succeed in life.

Dear sisters who search for self-confidence, let it be known that the origin of confidence is having trust in Allah (Glory be to Him) because trust in Allah is the real basis upon which your self-confidence is built. Having trust in Allah is the basis of all confidence and better for you because all good is in Allah's Hands. Having confidence in Allah affects your self-confidence and in the people around you.

Let it be known that your self-confidence is the passing bridge to success in the world and in the Hereafter because whenever your self-confidence increases, you can identify your principles and goals in life and face any obstacles that may face you.

Your self-confidence is a soft internal light inside you and the motive for your actions and behavior.

Self-confidence is the only way to natural balance which make you a distinct believing woman, superior, good-thinker, rational in your judgment on matters, feeling the value of life, and finally you shall be a wonderful model to follow.

Plant self-confidence in yourself to achieve the best results and ponder over the Prophet's saying: "Seek the help of Allah and do not despair."

Despair is against confidence, so ponder over the saying of Yusuf (Joseph) (Peace be upon him) when he said with confidence: "[Yûsuf (Joseph)] said: "Set me over the store-houses of the land; I will indeed guard them with full knowledge" (as a minister of finance in Egypt)." [Surat Yusuf: 55].

My wandering sister, no doubt that what you feel in yourself will have a deep effect in people's assessment to you and their point of view about you. So, if you do not have self-confidence and your behavior indicate that, do not expect that people look at you in a good way, and you should know that your trust starts from inside.

There are many causes for losing confidence, of which :

• Exaggerating matters and situations where women, who do not have self-confidence, feel that the people around them focus on their weakness.

• Fear and worry that they do something against traditions and others would blame them for that.

• Feeling weakness before others.

Now I shall put before you and inside your emotions sweat drops taken from an endless source that is full of advices and solutions so that you can catch the soft light inside you, so you have to do as follows :

1- You have to convince yourself —through frequent repetition— that you are a powerful human being. You should identify your potential abilities and be sure that you have a high self-confidence which you have to use.

2- You should stop disdaining yourself and repeating some words that destroy your character.

3- You should be full-convinced that your character is wonderful and effective in the society; if bad ideas were created in the inner self, you will be a shaky person, whereas if you create positive ideas, you shall be a flexible character.

4- You have to train yourself for loving your personality as it is and do not belittle it.

5- Not to think in the past and do not remember sad events that ended long time ago.

6- Do not compare between yourself and others no matter what the circumstances are because that destroy all your thinking.

7- Benefit from your skills, hobbies, and hidden energies.

8- Be a purposeful human being of different actions and clear creativities and activities.

9- Be away from disappointment by frequent mentioning of Allah, seeking trust and security from Him.

10- Convince yourself with confidence and work because we were not created in vain, but to worship Allah and inhabiting the earth which requires self-confidence and subjugating of capabilities.

11- Do not give up your point of view if you are right and try to convince the people around you.

12- Do not be disturbed by others' criticism to you because criticizing you is a proof of the importance of your work, so go-ahead.

13- The experiment of the way which is sometimes surrounded by difficulties is essential to break the psychological barrier which intervene between you and trying untraditional ways, and in order not to lock yourself in a narrow circle.

14- Do not show your weakness before people, act as if you have more confidence than you really have, and do not let the people feel the disturbance and worry which you feel so as people do not look at you as weak.

Moreover, pretending self-confidence will give you a chance to be part of your personality.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) who is our model example got out with confidence to the world to spread Islam while he was an illiterate.

He kept on fighting for his message, strove to achieve his goals, and did not die but after changing the face of history and the features of values in the life of these societies.

Finally, inculcate self-confidence in yourself, build your character, create of the pale color of your face candles to enlighten yourself-confidence. e