ملتقى أهل العلم - Who is the best mother?

Dr. Samiya `Atiyyah Nabyuwwah

The best mother is the one who performs a very important role in the life of her family. Her role is not only limited to procreation and the satisfaction of her physiological needs of her children but also she works to establish a family and maintain its cohesion by dedicating herself for the care of her husband, children, and house until she provides for them security, assurance, love, affection, and family stability.

She plays a very important role in affecting children where she represents a psychological and a social need to her children regarding their growth and expecting their response to her guidance to a late age. Likewise, she performs basic functions to her children, of the most important: Satisfying their psychological and biological needs, transferring the cultural heritage to them as she is the pivot for educational activity in the family.

The best mother is the one who helps her children to form their will and the growth of their characteristics. She provides them with values and directions and works to establish their moral structure, as she plays a role in providing the suitable atmosphere which helps the stability of her children and their sound growth. She also grants children the psychological energy and love for incorporating within the society and that makes them accept the social standards and methods inside the family as well as the society.

Characteristics of the best mother:
In order that a mother plays these roles, she has to have the following:
* She must have a balanced and mature personality.
* She must know her mistakes objectively.
* She must not be biased or pompous.
* She must be able to create an atmosphere of security for all the family members. She should not create in children the feeling of fear and worry or depending on her for solving problems, but she must help her children to grow sound both mentally and psychologically so that they would grow up as men without any shortage, and able to lead their natural lives with success and happiness.
* She must not cast her burdens on her children.
* She must be firm, quiet, and stable.
* She must be successful in her life and in rearing her children.
* She must not be careless, but she must bear the responsibility.
If a mother fulfills these characteristics, she shall be a good mother.

Characteristics of a good mother:
A good mother has the following characteristics:
1- She must hold firm with values and religious mottos.
2- She must understand the needs, problems, and desires of her children.
3- She gives examples to her children to lead a sound life and how to be good mothers.
4- She must give importance to educational, recreational, religious, and healthy policies which are important for developing family members.
5- She cooperates with her husband in rearing children and teaching them the system.
6- She contributes in tendering her children medically.
7- Her children respect her but do not fear her.
8- She grants her children passion and love to feel secure in their lives.
9- She observes patience before the knowledge, experience, and capability of children and teaches them useful things.
10- She deals with her children reasonably and kindly and respects their desires, needs, and mental.

References:
* Sana' Al Khuly, entrance to sociology.
* Family and familial life.
* `Abdur-Rahman Al `Isawy, problems of childhood and adolescence.
* `Atif Sabry Mahmoud, problems that face the families of Palestinian martyrs and a proposal for confronting it from a general practice prospective in social service, unpublished MA, faculty of Social Service, Helwan University, 2010.
* `Abdul-Fattah Ibrahim Muhammad, socialization in Islam between theory and practice, unpublished MA, Faculty of Arts, University of Zagazig, 1988.
* `Abdullah Saleh `Alwan: Rearing children in Islam.
* Fouad Sayed Musa, the obstacles facing mothers in the performance of their mission, Cairo, the Ministry of Social Affairs, the General Administration of family and childhood, maternity symposium, March, 1982.
* Muhammad Nabil Jami`, family and marital happiness.